“Once a man’s married he’s absolutely bitched,” Bill went on. “He hasn’t got anything more. Nothing. Not a damn thing. He’s done for. You’ve seen the guys that get married.”
Nick said nothing.
“You can tell them,” Bill said. “They get this sort of fat married look. They’re done for.”
“Sure,” said Nick.
“It was probably bad busting it off,” Bill said. “But you always fall for somebody else and then it’s all right. Fall for them but don’t let them ruin you.”
“Yes,” said Nick.
“If you’d have married her you would have had to marry the whole family. Remember her mother and that guy she married.”
Nick nodded.,
“Imagine having them around the house all the time and going to Sunday dinners at their house, and having them over to dinner and her telling Marge all the time what to do and how to act.”
Nick sat quiet.
“You came out of it damned well,” Bill said. “Now she can marry somebody of her own sort and settle down and be happy. You can’t mix oil and water and you can’t mix that sort of thing any more than if I’d marry Ida that works for Strattons. She’d probably like it, too.”
Nick said nothing. The liquor had all died out of him and left him alone. Bill wasn’t there. He wasn’t sitting in front of the fire or going fishing tomorrow with Bill and his dad or anything. He wasn’t drunk. It was all gone. All he knew was that he had once had Marjorie and that he had lost her. She was gone, and he had sent her away. That was all that mattered. He might never see her again. Probably he never would. It was all gone, finished.
From “The Three-Day Blow” by Ernest Hemingway
My first snippet in this New Year features Ernest Hemingway. Those of you who regularly follow my posts know of my preference for Hemingway. He is the master of dialogue, using short and pertinent sentences. In this instance, Ernest addresses an issue he had plenty of experience with—marriage. He makes a crucial point: “If you’d have married her you would have had to marry the whole family. Remember her mother and that guy she married.”

Family can make or break a relationship. A cynical observation, an unfortunate remark by a father, a mother, or a sister about a future husband or wife can have a significant impact. It might adversely change their relative’s perception of the potential spouse. People married their spouses’ families too. “Imagine having them around the house all the time and going to Sunday dinners at their house, and having them over to dinner …”

If one reads the press, one might reach the conclusion that nowadays the only ones defending marriage are gays. You don’t see heterosexual men and women carrying big placards with “SAVE OUR MARRIAGES.” Marriage is declining but must not be that bad when so many people still tie the knot. Nick realizes what he lost: “It was all gone. All he knew was that he had once had Marjorie and that he had lost her. She was gone and he had sent her away. That was all that mattered. He might never see her again. Probably he never would. It was all gone, finished.”