I have a new recommendation for you when complacency reigns, and catching the coronavirus has skyrocketed. I know that hearing the word pandemic sickens you.  But by now, you have mastered self-control and trained yourself not to touch your face with your hands unless you have washed them thoroughly. It has taken a long time to block out the torturing itching on your nose that makes you wonder if a mosquito sits on it feasting at its leisure.

I am sure you also abide by the social-distancing rule, the terrible culprit of your fading libido. It prevents you from imbibing the necessary pheromones for sexual attraction. If your sex drive remains vigorous, you should assess whether you are following the CDC recommendations.

As an intelligent citizen, you outgrew political views and donned your face mask in enclosed areas where the required distance turned elusive.  After all, politicians come and go, but you have only one life that cannot be replaced. Nor can you replace a parent or a child. Husbands and wives are disposable, but the procedure entails a pricy cost. It is not recommended. Men should fancy themselves on a Western-movie film set, justice seekers about to retrieve the cash from a few corrupt bankers. In women, the garment enhances their eyes’ beauty and transports them to the tales of One Thousand and One Nights.

 So much for my romantic inclination. I have reached the nitty-gritty of this note. In the first week of May, I got a call from someone who worked in the food retail industry.  He had got humongous orders of materials utilized in the making of mouthwash.

“Something must be afoot,” he said. “Buy plenty of it because some scientists will soon publish a paper proving it can help control the coronavirus. The price will go up.”

I purchased several bottles and doubled the frequency of my mouthwash use. I passed the info on to a retired nurse friend who sounded unimpressed,

“I used it for quite a few years whenever I took care of patients with colds. It worked.”

Yesterday, Medscape published a report about the benefits of mouthwash in coronavirus infections. Made of 21.6 % alcohol, these liquids damage the external layer of the coronavirus, the creature’s Achilles tendon. Washing your mouth and gurgling with these substances may significantly decrease the viral load and prevent the infection. Continue to follow the above recommendations, add rinsing your mouth with the antiseptic liquid for a minute, and gurgle it for 30 seconds after brushing your teeth. You should also do it after exposure to people who talked to you from a borderline distance or any time you took an unavoidable risk.   The OMS and CDC have not issued any guidelines for the use of mouthwash.  But let me remind you that I recommended the use of a face mask long before these agencies.

In Spain, when we get angry and tell someone off, we usually swear, “Go and Gargle yourself!” Please excuse my language, but in this case, the profanity has a positive connotation.